forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
