Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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