Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
