I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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