Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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