Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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