I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
