wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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