Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
