I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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