It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
