Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
