Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
