Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
