you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I supernannyed him into submission
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize