This girl is more easily done than said...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize