I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
