She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
