oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
