he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
