Umm I'm too high to move.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
