All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
