bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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