Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
