I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
