Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
