therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
