Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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