his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
