I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
