Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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