He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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