i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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