I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
