He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize