I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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