Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
