She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
