What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
