Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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