Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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