cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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