are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
