you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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