Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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