He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are we still banned from the library?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
