yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
