mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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