Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
