so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
