I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize