Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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