that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize