he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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