time to smoke my breakfast
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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