so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
